War anxiety – Schaeffler

We have not yet had the chance to catch our breath after the pandemic, and yet again we have to face another crisis that challenges our mental resilience even more. It is understandable that the ongoing war, not far from our border, causes a stress reaction in many of us. Undoubtedly, the news that reaches us does not foster recovery.

However, we also observe many wonderful gestures of solidarity, unity and selfless help, which are a testimony of humanity. We already know that we have a marathon ahead of us, so we need to spread our energy wisely so that we don’t run out of it at the finish line. An airplane analogy seems to be very accurate here – if you need to use oxygen masks, take care of yourself first!

During webinar we talked about:

• The meaning of crisis from a psychological perspective – mechanisms of human’s behavior
• How to react effectively in a situation of strong emotions – especially fear and panic?
• How to protect yourself from disinformation?
• How to take care of your own psychological well-being in crisis situation to be able to take care of others?
• How to talk about the war situation with colleagues and loved ones, especially with kids?
• How can you really help?

“I have got a question, about our family. How to protect to our kiddos at home? I and my wife decided to do not talk about this war at wife when they are around, is that right?”

We cannot be under the illusion that children do not realize that “something is happening” – information about “attack”, “war”, “threat” appears everywhere – in kindergarten, at school, in the family. But also in the media. Pretending that nothing is happening will be counterproductive – it is better to be in control of the messages that children receive.

To properly communicate with your child on the topic of war, take a look at slides 19-27 of our presentation – they will help you determine how to convey information to your child in an accessible way, and how to formulate a message that should not heighten fear in him/her.

The message should be tailored to the child’s age and level of emotional development. So how do you protect children from messages about war that are not tailored to them?

• Refer only to facts, confirmed information in your statements. You can relate to your own emotions, even if they are unpleasant, but avoid presenting fatalistic opinions.
• Try to cut your child off from war messages on the internet e.g. using parental controls – pay attention to websites, YouTube channels, TikTok and other social media that your child visits
• Refrain from watching news services and listening to the news on the radio when your child is around
• Try not to discuss war-related topics when your child is around – especially don’t broadcast messages that refer to danger, fear, panic

 

“I was wondering – family of my wife took three families to their home as they have possibilities to house them. I wanted to organize some trip to zoo or whatever other place so kids wouldn’t think of war and all that situation. Is it appropriate proposing such activities? On one hand i would like them to stop thinking even for couple of hours of that, but on the other hand i don’t want them to think i’m playing this situation down.”

A sincere question, derived from concern, expressed respectfully, even if it is met with refusal, should not lead to a negative outcome. It might be a good idea to direct the proposal to the children and offer the adults that they can join “If they feel like doing so”. Offering to babysit for a few hours could allow caregivers to “catch their breath” and take care of themselves during this difficult time. Also being able to ‘detach’ from thoughts of war can be beneficial to mental health.

Giving them space to take their minds off the situation can be very helpful in regaining their balance.  But accept if they refuse – don’t push, don’t lecture.

 

“There is another spectrum of the problem, when older people (in particular those who survived and remember Wołyn – like my wife’s grandma) are afraid of the number of Ukrainians coming to Poland. We had difficult incident when she expressed her opinion out loud while kids were around. I believe this might be more common problem in Wroclaw due to post WW2 migration.”

It is important to ask the person not to express opinions that might hurt someone out loud, especially in front of people experiencing trauma. It is helpful to talk openly with the senior about the topic, expressing understanding: “I understand that this is difficult for you, it probably brings up a lot of unpleasant memories, but let’s remember that this is not the same situation. These particular people are not responsible for crimes from the past”.

 

“What in case we need a break from information/from current situation and drive out-of-the-city e.g. for a weekend? What if we are afraid that hotels are full (because of obvious situation)?”

Taking care of your own well-being is crucial for maintaining the mental balance, that is needed to function effectively in everyday life. Taking breaks from information is essential to taking care of your mental health.

In situations that increase anxiety, it’s a good idea to refer to the facts – according to current information, there is no basis for such conclusions (that hotels might be full).

 

“What when we feel forced to help more (even if we already did our best)?”

First, you can ask yourself where did this “feel of being forced” come from? If you already did your best – what is the source of this feeling? Is it coming from other people directly? Or are these your assumptions about the expectations others have of you? Or maybe the source of this feeling is guilt?

Once you have identified the source of the compulsion, it will be easier to change your approach to feelings related to helping in this situation; e.g., guilt-driven pressure to help may come from feeling that I am not allowed to have my own needs in this situation, which is dangerous to your mental health in the long run. You need to take care of yourself so you can help others.

Remember that help will be needed for a long time, not just in the short term, so don’t bite more than you can chew – if you burn out now, you won’t be able to help in the future. Taking care of your mental balance is essential in this situation.

 

“How to handle such pressure? (I meant there friends having friends and families in Ukraine and constantly reaching to you via phone/messages/social media).”

If the pressure is related to people being in places that are reasonably safe (not directly attacked) – try to give them space to occupy their thoughts with something else. You can ask about basic activities – did they eat, drink, sleep today. If they still go to work – you can ask about work. Focus on daily activities and redirect their attention to them. Rather listen than talk.

If you are in contact with someone who is in immediate danger just say you are glad you still have contact. Don’t comfort or moralize. Listen. And ask about the most essential needs.

 

“Who should we contact (in Schaeffler) if we need a help for someone in/from Ukraine?”

For more information on this topic, please contact HR Department representatives in SGGE Schaeffler.