Techniques for building stress resilience

The Buddha once asked a student, “If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful?” The student replied, “It is.” The Buddha then asked, “If the person is struck by a second arrow, is that even more painful?” The student replied again, “It is.” The Buddha then explained, “In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. And with this second arrow comes the possibility of choice.”

The first arrows in the parable above are unexpected events whose occurrence is usually beyond our control (e.g., illness, conflict, failure, unexpected news, etc.). However, whether we find these types of situations stressful depends on our judgment. This judgment takes into account whether we have enough resources to cope with the difficult situation caused by these factors. Often, the automatic emotional reactions we activate in a crisis situation can cause additional distress, limit our thinking, and make it impossible to see the very best course of action.

Our way of judging a difficult situation and the resulting ways of reacting can become entrenched, in which case we will call it a coping style. There are 3 styles of coping with a difficult situation:

• task-oriented – individuals who are task-oriented try to quickly identify the problem and look for possible solutions.

If in stressful situations you typically focus on scheduling time, prioritizing, organizing resources, and thinking about different solutions to the problem, then this style is most likely your preferred style. Remember, this style is most effective when you are in control of a difficult situation! Lack of flexibility in using other styles and over-focusing on tasks can lead to fatigue or even emotional exhaustion.

• emotion-oriented – such individuals focus on experiencing emotions and trying to resolve them.

If in stressful situations you tend to focus on yourself and your own emotional experiences, blame yourself or others, and feel tension throughout your body, then this style is most likely your preferred style. Remember, this style helps you focus on your needs! When it is flexible it promotes relaxation, but when it is rigid it will lead to ruminations (i.e. obsessive thoughts about the emotions you are experiencing), which will consequently increase tension instead of decreasing it.

• avoidance-oriented – such people, occupy their attention with something else, just to divert it from thinking about the problem.

If in stressful situations you usually avoid thinking and experiencing these situations, engage in substitute activities (watching TV, thinking about pleasant things, sleeping, seeking social contact), then this style is most likely your preferred one. Remember that avoidance is not always bad. There are constructive techniques to help reduce emotional tension, especially when you have no control over a difficult situation. However, rigid use of this style usually leads to the perpetuation of bad habits that are not conducive to good health.

A rigid style is not always the best strategy in a given situation, so it is useful to learn different techniques for building stress resilience.

Importantly, we can learn new, more constructive ways to deal with a difficult situation. The ability to flexibly switch between different techniques is undoubtedly the best strategy for coping with everyday stress. Obviously, we will be closest to those techniques that are in line with our preferences, but it is worth developing those skills that initially seem very distant to us. Regularity and persistence encourages the formation of new habits. When new ways of coping with stress become habitual activities they will no longer be difficult for us, and their positive consequences will be felt in our daily well-being.

Find out the different techniques for building stress resilience.

Find those techniques that are closest to your preferred style of coping with difficult situations, take a look at which situations you are effective in and which situations would benefit from a different way of responding. Choose which of the techniques outside the area of your preferred style you want to develop to manage your stress more effectively. Start building new habits 🙂

GOOD LUCK!